Random Musings

Most of you know that Jared is gone. He's been away for almost a week. Though I know it really hasn't been long, in the scheme of things, it feels like it's been a long time. For lack of a better idea I'm just going to list thoughts, so maybe you understand where I am coming from.

1- Today at work a friend asked me if it's weird that Jared is gone. My answer: yes and no. I am used to "being a single parent", to not have him home at night or weekend. I don't have to do laundry for one more person. I don't stress out about meals when Jared is away. We all just graze and eat when we are hungry. Yes, it is hard to not have him here to help with the kids. Yes, I worry about him even though I know that he is "safe".

2- I like sleeping in the middle of my bed, by myself. Sometimes it's nice to cuddle up next to a warm body, but it's also really nice to just lay there by your self, not getting kicked, having all the sheets and pillows to yourself right in the middle of the bed.

3- I don't have to do anything on Jared's (or the military's time frame). I am not waiting for him to be home from work or for a free weekend. We can just take off and do what ever we want.

4- It's my way or the highway. No one is here to tell me their opinion (or mine). It's nice to make the decision to have ice cream for dinner or cookies for breakfast. Plus there is no pinging from one parent to the other for anything.

5- I pick the bed time. If I want to take a nap, I take a nap. If I want the kids in bed at 2 am, they are in bed at 2 am. If I want them asleep at 8, then it is so. If I want to sleep in, then I can guarantee that I will be in bed and NOONE willl be turning on the bathroom light at 530 to get ready for work.

6- The seat in the car is where I left it. The lumbar support is full and tight. My mirrors don't need to be adjusted. It's almost perfect each time I get in the car to drive. (I just wish that cars came with plugs to keep the kids mouths occupied during the drive). Bonus: no one criticizes my driving skills (except the kids that don't know anything about driving other than don't speed).

7- I am not tripping over big, clunky work boots. They are on the shelf where they belong and will remain there for the next few months. Bonus: there will be no oil or gas or flight line residue being walked across my floors.

8- I can leave my craft stuff on the kitchen table for the whole 6 months if I really want. No one is gunna touch the chaos I call crafting.

9- I can redecorate.

10- I can rearrange anything that needs to be moved to my liking. Yes, I do this a lot.

11- I am glad to have a job that I go to without my kids. I love them, but I need a break from them. They wear me out.

12- I pick what is on the tv. I pick the movies I want to rent. No more asking for an opinion and having to compromise when I really just want to watch a chick flick.

13- I don't like not having full access to talk to him when I need to. You forget sometimes how important adult conversation really is. No one really enjoys talking to/ with their children all day.

14- I don't love the crazy (and I a saying off the wall) dreams that I have when he is gone. Not cool. :(

Well, I am going to wrap up my post. Maybe tomorrow will pull up some more random thoughts. Good night and peace out.