A much needed update

Happy Very Belated Birthday Ashton!!!!!!

I am so late at posting this, over a month, however I have a totally valid excuse (see below)...

Ashton, we love you so very much. You keep us on our toes and delight us (usually) with your humor. You shock us and always bring us many and varried littles surprises. You are such a cute little boy that I know will grow up to be the bain of my existance when you are a teen, but for now, I will enjoy you. We love how much you love your brother and sister and miss them when they are in school. I love how much you love to help your dad "hammer and screw" things. I love how you love your mom and love to show your love for all of them. You are awesome and special and sweet and we love you so much! :) Happy 4th Birthday!

So, now for my excuse. In May I had a relativly simple procedure done to help correct some things that child bearing had done to my body. Of course, the surgery went off without a hitch (and it's results are incredible), however, while they were making sure they didn't puncture my bladder, the docs found a tumor growing in my bladder. The doc scraped it out and took lots of pics (I'd post them, but I know some of you can't handle it). He sent the biopsy off to the lab and the pics to the Uro- oncologist. The pics look like cancer, the biopsy came back benign (not cancer).

I went in for a 2nd surgery to remove the rest of the crumb size tumor from mybladder a month ago. The results again came back benign, but I am being treated like I have bladder cancer. Now, don't jump to conclusion- I'm not undergoing radiation or chemo, but I am being monitered quarterly for the next few years, then yearly if nothing is growing again for 5 years or so. While going through the 1st month of recovery, I had recieved a letter telling me that I had something growing on my thyroid. We are in limbo for that and awaiting a 2nd ultrasound to confirm any problems/ diagnosis. So, now that a month has passed since the 2nd surgery I am up, I am around, but the little "scare" sits in the back of my mind. From what the docs have explained, I understand that the tumr can start growing/ grow back at any time and can be cancerous the next time around. Bladder cancer is extremly rare in women and especially so in young women. They NEVER see this growing in a 20 somethings body, so they are a little perplexed at why me, why now. They also don't see this kind of growth come back not cancerous. However, I know that my Heavenly Father is in complete control of what happens, what will happen and what I need to learn from all of this. I have been through all sorts of emotions and "coming to terms" with things mentally, but inside I know that things will be fine and I can handle what is thrown my way.

Now, with that in mind, can you see why I am a bit behind, why I've been short with everyone and sort of tucked myself away for a while? I intentionally didn't say things to my friends/ family because I didn't need any more drama than I bring onto myself. Jared and I never discussed any of my concers/ problems with the kids, but they know something wasn't quite right with mom. I am doing well, I am happy and I am alive and nothing can be greater than those things.